23-year-old colleague repeatedly calls 29-year-old supervisor 'mom', gets upset when behavior is called out in a meeting: 'She said I should lighten up'

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    AITA for embarrassing my coworker after she kept calling me “mom” at work?

    I'm 29 and work in a pretty relaxed corporate office. We can wear jeans, play music while we work, it's casual but still professional. I've been at the company for four years and was recently promoted to a team lead position. One of our newer hires, a 23-year-old named Emma, started this weird habit of calling me Mom in meetings and even over email. She'd say things like Mom said this is due today or Ask Mom if we can leave early. At first I just laughed it off, but after a couple of weeks it re
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    Last week we were in a meeting with our manager and a few people from another department. Out of nowhere she said something like Mom, do we have to stay late again. I was caught off guard and honestly kind of embarrassed. So I responded that I'd prefer she stop calling me that, because I'm not her mom and I didn't raise her with that lack of professionalism. The room went quiet and things got a little awkward.
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    Afterwards my manager pulled me aside and said he understood why I was frustrated, but I should have handled it more tactfully. Now Emma isn't speaking to me and apparently told someone I humiliated her. Some coworkers are on my side, others think I was too harsh. I really don't think I was being ride. I was just fed up.. for calling her out the way I did? ΑΙΤΑ
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    Outsiders sympathized with her reaction to the comment.

    ShoddyMove6054 NTA. She kept ignoring your boundaries after you were clear about them. She embarrassed herself, honestly. You just finally put your foot down.
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    bubblegumstardust OP Thank you, I gave her a heads-up weeks ago. If she wants to play around, that's on her but not in a meeting with our manager.
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    WaryScientist NTA - I would've chastised my manager for allowing the unprofessional behavior in the first place, and that you DID talk to her privately but because management allows it, she didn't respect you enough to stop.
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    gastropodia42 NTA She called you mom. You scolded her like she was a little girl.
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    MeFolly A joke stops being a joke as soon as the other person tells you it is not acceptable.
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    Reaction Either6684 You're not her mom, you're her team lead. That kind of nickname might fly with friends, but it's completely unprofessional in the workplace. Good on you for standing up for yourself.
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    Global-Fact7752 NTA...I totally agree with you..you tried to address it privately....she blew you off..and as her " mom" you lesson..Your manager is wrong. taught her a
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    ABskiing NTA - now she isn't speaking to you? Sounds so emotionally immature. I would talk to your manager about that (continued) lack of professionalism as in you expect her to act like an adult.
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    Akasgotu NTA. Her calling you mom is a patronizing way to undermine your authority. I suggest that, in future, if anyone tries to take liberties with how they address you, that you shut it down immediately and definitively. The societal expectation for women to face offensive behavior with an awkward chuckle and brush it off should have d d out long ago.
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    Square_Band9870 yup. 100%. It's an insult. It's tied into some negative cr p about female leaders. It's basically a new version of "bossy" as a pejorative. Plus it's borderline agist - even though OP isn't even 30 - and the worker is calling her old. NTA and OP should ask for a meeting with her in the presence of HR to clarify this isn't funny or appropriate, I asked you to stop, you did it again in a meeting.
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    FatChance68 NTA and I would make sure your managers are aware that you had already spoken to her privately about the issue and she proceeded to continue calling you mom anyways. She was completely unprofessional. Going forward, document the request in an e-mail if a similar issue arises.
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    Maxwell Street NTA. She embarrassed herself.
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    Emotional_Bonus_934 You needed to tell your manager tht you talked to her and she brushed it off. She's completely unprofessional. Time for HR report
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    mdelarhyme I'm 100% on your side, but the reality is she set you up. She baited you and you took the bait. You reacted emotionally instead of responding rationally. It would have been better if you had paused, given her a quizzical look and continued with the meeting. Then talked to your boss after about how you were concerned because you had already asked her to stop calling you that and she was choosing to continue to do it. Sorry you walked into that one. Learn from it and maybe gather your t
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    CankerLord Yeah, OP's wondering if she was justified in escalating. Meanwhile her real problem is that the professional place for escalating things like this is in an HR office, not in the middle of a meeting. This feels good, but that's not the goal.
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    PurplePlodder1945 With hindsight, the correct phrasing would've been 'I've had this conversation with you previously, I'm not your mother and am uncomfortable with you using that term'. Then the others would've known you've already told her. But hindsight is a wonderful thing when you're put on the spot Is casually put it about that you'd already had the conversation and were just shocked that she continued with the behaviour. Should spread lovely on the grapevine. And tell your manager! ΕΤΑ ΝΤΑ
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    artsyfartsyMinion I would write a formal report with all the information including previous warnings. Lodge it with HR and request that she attend training on professionalism in the workplace as well as training on emotional intelligence, as she seems to be lacking. Don't worry that she is not talking to you, she is being childish in line with her emotional intelligence quotient. And make sure your manager is on board. Ask him if he would accept staff calling him daddy and asking inappropriate q

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